Bit Close For Comfort

I`m fairly sure that colleagues and friends are soon going to stop travelling with me. On my own I am fine, I can navigate and travel around the world with ease. But give me company and it all starts to go a bit wrong.

I have mentioned before about my time in a Vietnamese jail, my travel disasters surrounding the ash cloud and being stuck with no visa in Moscow.

But this weekend`s first disaster occurred on the M20 motorway whilst on our way to Spa. A tyre blow out at 70 (ish) mph meant that we were making an unscheduled pitstop at the side of a busy motorway and a quick dash into the nearest town for a full check up and all round tyre replacement.
This un-planned stop sadly meant that we lost the race to Spa against fellow media colleagues all bombing down to the Ardennes in various exotic machinery.

The rest of the weekend was going swimmingly well with good photographic opportunities in the damp and occasionally sunny conditions of the Spa Francorchamp circuit.

That was until lap 13 of the race on Sunday.

I had decided to photograph the race from the outside of the circuit at Les Combes corner. This was a calculated decision and although I was a little restricted for pre-race, grid and glamour I thought that the corner at the end of the DRS zone had the possibility to provide some drama and action.
And my word, was there action.
I was shooting through a photographer`s hole in the catch fencing as Lewis and Kamui raced side by side towards the braking zone and then all hell broke loose. Suddenly they touched, a McLaren was pitched sideways (at this stage I actually thought it was Jenson!) and was on a collision course at 300kph with the barrier directly in front of me. I kept shooting, but as my natural instinct to run kicked in, I turned and legged it. I was a metre or two away as carbon fibre parts and advertising signage rained down around me and I had the split second thought that the car was about to rip through my body.

As I stopped, with debris and dust still floating in the air, I looked around and could see no car. Had he actually hit the barrier and flown over the top of me? Was he sitting in a wreck in the forest behind me? I couldn`t see a thing. Then looking about 200 metres further down the track I could see a smouldering and smoking wreckage of a silver McLaren. Phew. I ran down the track perimeter path just as I saw Lewis sheepishly climbing out.

I was very lucky. I was lucky that the car hadn`t flipped, I was lucky that the barrier had withstood the impact, I was lucky that the wheels didn`t start flying, I was lucky that the debris fence has done its job and stopped most of the flying parts ripping me to pieces. And I was lucky that Lewis was able to climb out of the car himself and that I wasn`t looking at a more sombre scene.

Sadly, from where I was standing it didn`t make for the most dramatic of photos! The photographers on the other side of the circuit have some great shots of the car hitting the barrier, bits flying everywhere and me running for my life. But by the time I stopped shooting and ran, Lewis was pretty much filling my frame with his helmet.
There has been much talk of the incident since, and I have no view. There has been blame pinned on both drivers and Lewis has publicly apologised for the incident, but from where I was stood I couldn`t care less. It provided me with an interesting photo or two. Ten minutes of serious adrenalin, and a good story too.

I`m not sure it`s a scenario I would want to repeat again in the near future. I think I should keep the drama to my travel disasters and leave the on track action to the experts.

Too busy having fun!

Firstly apologies for no blog after the Valencia GP.

I was going to write one, but then I tried to put pen to paper, well actually bash a few keys on my laptop, and I just couldn`t think of anything to write about, never mind anything that anyone would want to read!
It wasn`t just that Valencia was a dullfest, after the great races that we have had his year. But I was busy doing so many other things that were far more interesting.

To begin with there was the San Juan Festival, which has become fairly legendary amongst F1 paddock folk. I wrote all about this last year, so won`t bore you with the details, but basically a few hundred thousand people, semi-naked on a beach, partying like only the Spanish know how to party, seems to make a dull race around some disused warehouses seem a little irrelevant.

I then had a fun little road trip from Valencia to Monaco. Bruno Senna was taking delivery of his new company car, a Lotus Evora. So it seemed only sensible to hand deliver his new car before heading up into the hills above Monaco to take a few photos. I tell you, I soon forgot about the Valencia GP after spending a few hours in the hands of Mr Senna and his new toy.

My other gripe with Valencia is the fact that it seems to always clash with the highlight of my non-F1 year, Glastonbury Festival. So as to get my festival hit for 2011, myself and fellow F1 photographer colleagues headed to the much more civilised and classy Hop Farm Festival to spend the weekend sitting in the sun whilst being entertained by such artists as The Eagles, Iggy Pop and Prince.

And so, onto Silverstone. I was going to write about the new Silverstone Circuit, but I believe others have made their views fairly clear this week.
So instead I'm going to write about the other thing that is getting on my nerves this week: Lewis Hamilton.

Much has been written about Lewis` visit to meet Christian Horner in the paddock at the Canadian GP.

The story goes a little like this:
Lewis walks into the Red Bull hospitality and asks a catering girl if Christian Horner is around?
Catering Girl to Christian Horner: Um, Lewis is here to see you.
Christian Horner: Lewis Who?
CG: Lewis Hamilton
CH: What the fuck does he want?
CG: I dunno, a job maybe?

Quite why Lewis thinks it`s acceptable to go and visit a rival team boss in full view of his current employers is quite frankly unbelievable.
Can you imagine in your job, whilst you are being paid by your employers, and whilst you are at the office, you just stroll out, walk down the road to your direct competitors and then ask for a meeting with the CEO to discuss a new role?
You would be fired.

Lewis hasn`t exactly kept the competition, on the track, that clean cut either. Yes, we want to watch drivers racing. We want drivers to challenge for victory, but to simply barge and smash your way past isn`t racing, it`s dodgems. Even 7 times World Champion Michael Schumacher is being punished for his smash and barge technique.

Having watched Sebastian Vettel make his debut appearance on the infamous Top Gear TV programme this week, I suggest Lewis maybe takes a look. Charisma personified, with a relaxed, informal, modest manner.

That is why he has a job at Red Bull, and that is why he will stay at Red Bull.

F1 Cheers and Boos

Well what a race. There was always a feeling that this years Canadian GP was going to be a cracker, but with a bit of inclement weather thrown in, it turned into a marathon battle. Incident packed, strategic, controversial, but above all a thrilling spectacle.

Yes, the TV stations were left having to fill a 2 hour lull in proceedings whilst we waited for the rain to subside, but thank goodness when it eventually did get going again the excitement rose and rose until a last lap battle and an unexpected victory for Jenson Button.

However with such a fantastic show, it seems to have been forgotten that before the race even started the crowd had turned on F1.

On Sunday everything was set for a thrilling race. The cars ready on the grid, celebrities paraded around the paddock, drivers raring to go and the champagne put on ice. Then a hammer blow to the loyal fans in the grandstands, whilst soaked to the skin, learnt that they have to watch the race start behind the safety car.

The news was greeted with loud boos, thumbs turned down, and some fans even leaving the circuit before the drama started.

I understand that Charlie Whiting, who`s decision it was, has a great weight on his shoulders and has to consider safety, but F1 also has to consider entertainment. That is why it exists, to entertain 200 million people worldwide and 100,000 fans sitting in the grandstands.

These are the best 24 drivers in the world. Drive to the conditions. The same as the rest of us do on a miserable day. We all manage to get to work when the heavens open!

F1 has now set a precedent. From this point forward there will not be another wet F1 start. How can there be? The drivers will look back and say,` but hey in Canada we started behind the safety car Charlie`

I agree that the race should have been red flagged eventually, and re-started after the deluge, but to take away a fascinating race start from the fans was very sad.

Entertainment is what we want. And how we have had our fair share in 2011.

But, we are now 6 races into this season and Sebastian Vettel not only leads the Championship but also tops the list for number of laps lead. In second place is not Hamilton, Button, Webber or even Alonso, but a man not even in the F1 Championship; Bernd Maylander, driving the F1 Safety Car!

Monaco Chavs

Monaco is a funny old place. For 360 days of the year it is a sleepy town, known for its orange residents, glamorous shops, expensive restaurants, hoardes of yappy dogs and a general `God`s Waiting Room` feel to it. But for the remaining 5 days of the year the Grand Prix is in town, and I am starting to get the feeling that Monaco is getting a bit fed up of it.

Don`t get me wrong, what I have experienced in the past week has been fantastic. The highlight of my year. I love nearly everything about this place. The weather, the track, the parties, the harbour, the ladies, the boats..... oh and a fabulous race.

The only thing I didn`t like about Monaco this year, and I`m not really sure how to say this.

But.
It`s just Monaco, is uhhmmm, losing it a bit, it`s just not as exclusive as it used to be, it`s becoming a bit, err, ........Chavvy.

When I first went to Monaco for the GP over 10 years ago it was a huge privilege to be there. I once arrived in a helicopter. There was a sponsor party every night, or an invitation to dinner and it was all fairly well behaved. Celebrities mixed with drivers and media and mechanics. The streets were clean and nobody dared make a noise after about 1am. There has always been a bit of japery and outlandish behaviour in Monaco with James Hunt topping the list, but it was all done with an air of class.

As the years have gone by, Monaco has started to attract a different type of follower. The Monaco weekend now seems to be a good excuse for a club 18-30 style Euro piss up. The section of track alongside the harbour chicane becomes a techno disco, come rave party, come strip club, each evening. Very few actually see any cars on track as they are either sleeping off a hangover or on their way back to Nice from the night before. The streets that used to be covered in Chiwawa shit are now covered in Chav vomit.

The Racsasse Bar was, and still is, the place for a drink each evening. The opportunity to socialise and have a few drinks whilst standing on the same piece of circuit, that literally a couple of hours before witnessed cars battling along it, is something novel in motor racing. It`s just not quite so novel when surrounded by drunken sweaty men oggling anything in a miniskirt, singing along to YMCA whilst supping a warm beer in a plastic glass that has cost you more than your monthly wages to buy.

Not all of these weekend warriors are vomiting in the street. There is another type of Monaco Chav. The ones that sit on their boats, hugely overweight, surrounded by pretty Russian hookers whilst blasting out RnB at full volume. The `nouveau riche` Chav.

Never has the line `Money doesn`t buy you taste` been so true.

Motorsport Rich List

Motorsport Rich List: A list of British based high-earners involved in Motorsport.

You may expect the biggest sporting earners in Britain to be footballers or maybe golfers, but it seems that actually Motorsport is where the cash is at. If you want to get rich quick, you had better get driving, and I mean cars not golf balls!

The men at the top have all made their own money, be it in steel, telecoms, aviation or whisky. But it seems that the old guard of ex-drivers out rank their current day challengers with Irvine, Coulthard and Mansell beating Britain`s big shots Jenson and Lewis, however I`m sure time will eventually change that.

The other noticeable point to make is, the only female entry into the Rich List. Slavica Ecclestone. Who manages to have a net worth of 734 Million without having done a days work in the past 25 years.

Carlos Slim, (and Dietrich Mateschitz) although not actually British based, has been included to give some element of quite how rich he is. And also how lucky F1 is to have his involvement with Sergio Perez, Esteban Gutierrez and the Sauber F1 Team.

One to keep your eye on!


1. 74 Billion - Carlos Slim - Sauber Sponsor, Telecoms.
2. 17.5Billion - Lakshmi Mittal - Steel, Mate of Bernie and Flav's. Joint owner of QPR.
3. 5.5 Billion - Dietrich Mateschitz, Red Bull Owner.
4. 3.08 Billion - Richard Branson - Virgin Racing Team sponsor.
5. 2.5 Billion - Bernie Ecclestone - F1 Ring Master.
6. 1.4 Billion - Vijay Mallya - Force India Owner.
7. 734 Million - Slavica Ecclestone - Ex-wife of a certain F1 Ring Master.
8. 620 Million - Paddy McNally - F1 Paddock Club Founder and Allsport Management.
9. 480 Million - Michael Schumacher - 7 Time F1 World Champion.
10. 405 Million - Jan Mol - 50% Owner of Force India F1 Team
11. 375 Million - Simon Fuller - Manager to Lewis Hamilton and 19 Entertainment.
12. 177 Million - Ron Dennis - McLaren F1 Team and McLaren Cars.
13. 110 Million - Johnny Dumfries - Ex-F1 Driver and Inheritance of the Isle of Bute.
14. 100 Million - Frank Williams - Williams F1 Team.
15. 100 Million - Ross Brawn - Sale of Brawn F1 Team to Mercedes.
16. 93Million - Grahame Chilton - AON and father of aspiring drivers Tom and Max.
17. 85 Million - Martin Birrane - Lola, Mondello Park and Peer Group.
18. 80 Million - Eddie Irvine - Ex-F1 Driver and Property.
19. 58 Million - David Richards - Prodrive
20. 50 Million - Dario Franchitti - Indy Car Champion and married to Ashley Judd.
21. 50 Million - David Coulthard - Ex-F1 Driver and Property.
22. 50 Million - Nigel Mansell - Ex-F1 Driver and Property.
23. 48 Million - Jenson Button - F1 Driver
24. 41 Million - Jackie Stewart - Ex-F1 Driver and consultant.
25. 40 Million - Lewis Hamilton - F1 Driver
26. 33 Million - Jonathan Palmer - Ex-F1 Driver, MSV and father of GP2 Driver Jolyon
27. 30 Million - Damon Hill - Ex-F1 Driver.

A Drunk World Champion

F1 driver briefings happen prior to every Grand Prix and are the thing of folklore. They are very much a closed-door affair with just the 24 race drivers, reserve drivers and team managers with Race Director Charlie Whiting in the hot seat. No media are allowed and the subject of the conversations that occur in these meetings very rarely see the light of day. This is partly due to the fact that whatever is discussed is probably incredibly boring, such as cutting kerbs, crossing white lines, DRS zones and the like. And partly, because all anybody is interested in, is whom Michael Schumacher will have an argument with.

Having said all of this, one strange request from Charlie Whiting in Istanbul this weekend was; that if any driver under the age of 24 reached the podium then they were not allowed to drink the champagne.

Turkey has recently come under some fairly stringent drinking laws and has chosen to increase the legal drinking age to 24! At age 23 this meant that when Sebastian Vettel jumped onto the top step of the podium, he legally couldn`t touch a drop of the winners bubbly.
What a crazy situation to find himself in. He has, since the age of 8, driven racing cars flat out, pretty much every day. He is a World Champion, whom I am guessing has maybe had a few shandy`s since to celebrate? He is employed by Red Bull who last year sold 3.9 billion cans, most of which I guess were mixed with Vodka.

But he is not allowed a little sip of the winners champagne on the podium.

Luckily, for sanity, in this mad world, Seb did have a sip. In fact he had a bloody great gulp, as shown in my photo above.

The police did not suddenly raid the podium and stick a breathalyser in his mouth. He didn`t even stumble, fall over and end up in a pile of vomit. Neither did he pick a fight with Fernando. He didn`t end up with the ugliest grid girl and regret it the following morning. He didn`t even slur ` I reaallly Luuurve Yooou` to Mark Webber. I am also guessing that he drove himself to the airport and didn't crash once. Madness.

2011 is over already

I hate to spoil the surprise, but Seb Vettel is going to be the 2011 F1 World Champion.

How do I know this? Well it`s simple, he is driving the best car out there.

I know it`s not quite as simple as that but heck, I am fairly damn sure! I suppose to be sure we will still have to make sure the next 18 races go ahead, and I suppose there may occasionally be a different winner if Seb is ill, or gets bored, or simply can`t be bothered to turn up one Sunday. But I doubt it.

I know what you will be saying by now. `What about Mark, Jenson or Lewis? Or surely Fernando could win the Championship?`
Well yes true he could, but he won`t. You see Adrian Newey has designed such a good car that even with 20 pasta-munching Italian `Newey Wanna-be`s` they simply will not have a car as good as this years Red Bull RB7.

Massa, I hear you cry.
No chance. He will be forgotten by all this year except his wife and family.

Which brings us to Jenson and Lewis. Now they seem to have turned a fairly bad winter around and do now seem to have a car that is fairly nippy, but as Lewis and Jenson are seen as equals in the team they will keep taking points off each other every Sunday and therefore will not win the Championship. Plus, Lewis will be far too busy pruning his ridiculous beard or hanging out with Jay-Z to worry about winning this year.

What about 7 time Champion Michael Schumacher? Well he seems to have dropped the ball a bit since coming back to join us.

Nico?
Well, Nico Rosberg`s nickname amongst the drivers is Britney (as in Spears) and we all know what happens when someone writes Britney off as a talentless tart.
She suddenly gets married in Vegas and shaves off all her hair. Oh hang on that analogy doesn`t work, but you get the idea. Nico will yet again dominate the Schu but not win much.

Renault look fairly good, but do you really think Robert Kubica is going to let Vitaly strut around lapping up all the glory for long? I`m sure the minute Robert is ready to jump in a car he will be back, but by then Seb will have most of the points and the championship will be over for Renault.

Which brings us to the only other person that is in with any sort of chance of challenging Seb for victories, Mark Webber.
But sadly the painted number on the nose of their respective cars gives some simple indication to the team management as to the level of the driver status.
I would love to see Mark do it, but unfortunately I think there is more chance of a tank race in Bahrain, than Mark winning the 2011 Championship.

We may as well give Seb the trophy now.

Drama. Keep it on the track.

So I sit here this morning, with 3 weeks to go until the first F1 GP of 2011, watching armoured tanks roll into Manama, the capital of Bahrain, and wondering if there is any chance we can just get on with racing and leave the drama to one side this year?

F1 loves a bit of drama. But when it starts to distract from the racing can this be good for anyone?

The off season has traditionally dragged up some news reports of F1 related dramas, that seem to only air themselves when the adrenaline of the season has settled down. When the teams and media need something better to be doing on their rare weekends off.

We have had the farcical Lotus v Lotus story that has dominated F1 websites for months now and bored the viewing public to tears. Quite how we can end up in this sport with 2 teams both trying to call themselves Lotus when Lotus themselves were never really interested in an F1 return is crazy.
We are now in a position where Lotus had a team in F1 last year called Lotus, they now can`t call themselves Lotus as Lotus wants to be in F1. So Lotus now have to be called Team Lotus, whilst Lotus decide to sponsor a team that has nothing to do with Lotus. This gets slightly more heated as Lotus are now taking Lotus to court to decide which one of them is Lotus and can use the name Lotus. One Lotus will win and will be know as Lotus. Until they decide they don`t want to be in F1 anymore and pullout and then nobody will care about Lotus.

I do feel slightly sorry for Tony Fernandes. He has created a great brand with his green Lotus team. They have done things right, they have gone down the right channels and have created a solid F1 team after a year of difficult races. I would love to see them continue in F1 for many years to come, but I cannot see how they are going to retain the Lotus name. I hope that if this happens it will actually be the launch pad that Tony needs, to call the team `AirAsia F1` and stop throwing money away promoting somebody else`s brand.

The next winter drama that we stumble across is the simply ridiculous row between Ford and Ferrari over the naming rights to this years Ferrari F1 car. Ford have for 23 years boasted that the Ford F150 is the best selling vehicle in the USA. Quite why Ferrari as a car manufacturer overlooked this simple issue when naming their new car the F150, I have no idea.
It is a bit like McLaren calling their new car a McLaren M3, Redbull calling theirs a RBCoke-1, or Virgin, a Virgin-BA747. How can you be so blinkered!

Then we move to the sad news that Robert Kubica looks unlikely to be joining us this year. Robert has injured himself whilst competing in a rally on a weekend off. I'm sure if you have seen the images of his damaged car you will agree that he is lucky to be around at all.
Nick Heidfeld has been promoted to take his seat alongside Vitaly Petrov with Bruno Senna standing in the background as reserve driver. I can see why `Black Lotus` have chosen Nick, he is the best available, but without Kubica pushing the motivation behind the team, their season is pretty much over already. Why not take a gamble? Put Bruno in. Bruno has only ever had 2 days of testing in F1. Ever..... He has never been given a decent car, he could be ace. Give him a chance you have nothing to lose.

Winter is over. Silly season has ended. I just hope the drama this year happens on the track. If it does we are in for a cracking season.